At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
