Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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