i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
