dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
