Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
