She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
