I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
