i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
you never un-have a 4some
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
