im holly from the hills drunk
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize