All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
