Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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