Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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