You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
NoShamevember. You game?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Randomize
