I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
