I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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