Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize