Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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