i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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