It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This house was built for laser tag.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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