Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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