I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
