Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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