Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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