I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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