That's intense
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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