Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
