She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
