i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
