So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He passed out mid-signature
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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