is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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