cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
