The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
