My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
