I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
