Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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