I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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