stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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