Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
