At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
