after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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