I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!