I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize