He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.