There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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