actually, I'm a sock model
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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