You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's blow job season.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
