So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
