I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize