You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize