is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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