it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
