my vag is so smooth its legendary
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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