just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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