Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
