He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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