I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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