It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
