you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
