I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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