i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?