If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?