He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.