Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.