those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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