I want to have your abortion
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
