It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
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Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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