So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my poor anus
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
