Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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