Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think your dad took our porno
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
