what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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