Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
