He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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