Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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