You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
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The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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