I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
