I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
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Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
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Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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